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DEAR HARRIETTE: What used to be cute at my wedding is now driving me crazy.
I can’t stand the habits that define my husband’s daily routine. Even the way he gets out of bed in the morning pisses me off. Continue from there.
I know it’s not right, but I feel like my whole being is screaming at him to become invisible. I know how horrible that sounds.
I also believe he senses my disdain for him. I can’t even look at him with a smile these days. All I see and hear are the things that drive me crazy.
We used to argue about real things that were happening that weren’t cool. Now, for me at least, it started to get lost in the smallest things. How can I reverse this?
He gets on my NERVES
BABY, HE MAKES ME NERVOUS: Breathe deeply. Be quiet for a few minutes and ask yourself what you want out of your relationship.
If you think you want to stay in it and heal whatever wounds there are, you must decide to adopt a new attitude. Everyone has some behaviors that can be annoying to others. Each one of us. If you continue to fixate on the things your husband does that annoy you, you will remain in a perpetual state of boredom.
If you want to heal your relationship instead, look for things you like about your spouse and celebrate them. Remember the things you enjoyed together and encourage him to do them with you now.
Of course, hiring a referee – a professional therapist – to help you navigate this difficult time can be incredibly helpful.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friend has come to town three times in the last year and hasn’t tried to see me once. I know she was here because of social media.
I understand that she is busy. Her life is super full right now. When she comes to town, it’s usually for work. But the problem is that I see that she is spending time with other friends. Why not me?
I’m starting to feel hurt about this. I thought we were close, but she’s certainly not making me a priority.
Should I say something? And if I do, how can I speak without sounding desperate? I miss her. It’s that simple.
I miss my friend
DEAR HEALTH MY FRIEND: Contact your friend and tell her you miss her.
Feel free to state the obvious: you’ve seen her been to town a few times and it looks like she’s been productive. Tell her you’d like to see her the next time you’re in town.
This communication can be by call, in a Zoom or by text. Just make sure your tone is warm and inviting rather than judgmental. If you make her feel guilty, she’s less likely to want to spend time with you.
Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You may send questions to askkharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
#husbands #cute #habits #nerves
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