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DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like the last broken record, complaining about the same things over and over but not making any meaningful changes.
I’ve been married a long time and I’m not happy. My husband is a “nice” man and everyone loves him, but honestly he’s not very nice to me. We barely talked. When we do, he often scolds me for every little thing and then acts like I’m too sensitive.
I don’t want to keep living like this, but I also believe in marriage and I don’t want to be the girl who gave up.
How can I get him to be nicer to me?
Need an update
PEOPLE NEED AN UPDATE: Have you tried therapy? You can learn some ways to better convey your needs and wants by hiring a professional to help you. If you can get your husband to leave, even better!
You say your husband is not “nice” to you. What does that mean? Be specific with your complaints so that when you address your husband (and your therapist) you can illustrate exactly what is bothering you. If you are vague, you will never get your point across.
DEAR HARRIETTE: It’s kind of frightening how many people I know who are having serious medical problems.
I arrived at an outside job this week and learned that a woman I hadn’t seen in a few months was away due to open-heart surgery following a heart attack. A friend of mine is recovering from a stroke. Another guy I haven’t seen in several years just told me that she had a heart attack a few months ago. OH MY GOD! Two of these people seemed to be the picture of health.
I’m afraid to go to the doctor for fear of what they might find out about me. I’m somewhat healthy, but I don’t have the best habits. If I get sick, I can’t afford to do anything about it. I work as a freelancer.
Am I crazy to say I’ll just see what happens? I really can’t afford to deal with a major health issue if it comes.
head in the sand
DEAR HEAD IN THE SAND: The #1 cause of people going bankrupt in this country is a health crisis. This is true even for people who have good insurance. The cost of being sick is astronomical, so it’s perfectly understandable that you’d rather not find out if something is wrong with you.
That said, I don’t recommend that you ignore your health. The American health care system excels at diagnostics – at figuring out what’s wrong with a patient. I strongly suggest you use this to your advantage. Problems caught early tend to be much cheaper than those that progress.
Get your annual checkups. Take the tests that will tell you if a problem is coming. Then do whatever you can to stay healthy. Eat wisely. Exercise regularly. Get enough rest.
These sound basic because they are, but most people don’t follow them very well. Be proactive about maintaining good health and do your research to discover alternative methods to boost your immune system.
Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You may send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
#loves #husband #dont #truth
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